Boiling over
by LMXB
Summary: Following her victory of Non, Kara starts to feel the weight of expectation and becomes more and more isolated.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Supergirl or the characters.

 **A/N:** This is set a few weeks after Season 1.

* * *

"You okay?" Alex asked when she noticed Kara was not devouring the ice cream with her usual enthusiasm.

"I guess."

"You want to try answering that again?" Alex said.

"I don't know. It just feels like I'm in a rut."

"A rut?" Alex asked confused.

"Yeah. It just feels like I'm not making the most out of life. I don't know how to move forward."

"You do remember you recently saved everyone on the planet, including your cousin, you lifted a prison into space, you got a boyfriend and a promotion?"

"I know, but since then everything seems to have stalled. I don't know, after all of that I guess I expected more of myself, but I haven't delivered."

"Kara don't be so hard on yourself." Alex said pulling her into a hug. "You are doing a great job."

"Am I? We still haven't found your dad."

"We're close. Sometimes you have to play the long game." Alex pointed out. "As soon as our operative reports a location you are going to be flying into the rescue. Is that the only thing that is bothering you?"

"No." Kara sighed. "Work is bad. Cat basically doesn't talk to me now. Well she kinda of does, but it is the yelling and criticism rather than the advice I used to get."

"I'm sure Cat is just being Cat." Alex said. "If you were doing something really wrong I am sure she is the first person who would tell you. Maybe she just doesn't have any advice to give at the moment."

"I guess."

"So why aren't you with James tonight? Apart from the fact I offered ice cream."

"He wanted to go clubbing. I didn't feel like it."

"Is everything okay between you two?"

"It's fine. I just needed some downtime." Kara said pulling away from Alex and asking. "So what did you want to tell me?"

"Hmmm?" Alex asked confused by the question.

"Earlier you said you had news."

"It doesn't matter." Alex said not wanting to make Kara feel even more downtrodden.

"Yes it does. Do I need to ask Vasquez?"

"Why would you ask Vasquez?"

"She knows everything and you don't have as much power over her as you do J'onn. So what's the news?"

"I was offered the chance to go to Geneva to work with the European equivalent of the DEO for a few weeks."

"That's great!" Kara smiled. "Why don't you look happy?"

"I don't want to leave you if you are feeling down."

"I'll be fine." Kara said. "Much more fine than I'll be having to live with the guilt of you not going."

"You sure?"

"Yes. But I will make sure I keep the evening of your flight free, just in case."

-00-

Having said her goodbyes to Alex a couple of days later Kara returned home and sat down at her easel and picked up a paint brush. But as she looked at the canvas she lost inspiration and put the brush down whilst sighing. Getting up again she walked to the TV and turned on the news. She was immediately greeted by an interview with Maxwell Lord criticising Supergirl. Turning over she saw a news report about a pile up she decided to fly off and help. But when she arrived on the scene rather than being greeted with the normal cheers one man demanded.

"What took you so long?"

Trying to ignore him Supergirl went to the bus and roughly moved the car that was blocking the exit before she pried open the bus doors and helped the people out. With all the passengers free she looked round for other hazards, happy the area was secure she turned and found herself looking at the man who had greeted her earlier, only this time he was red with rage.

"You ruined my car." He spat.

"I'm sorry." Supergirl said.

"Sorry? Is sorry going to pay for the damage to my car?" The man. "You ruined it. I hope you're insured." He said whilst taking photos of his damaged Porsche. Not knowing what to say Kara flew off to the one place she normally found refuge, the CatCo balcony.

"I should start charging rent." Cat said stepping out onto the balcony where Supergirl was starring out over the city.

"Do you want me to go?" Supergirl asked turning to face Cat.

"Go, stay, makes no difference to me." Cat said.

"I was hoping we could talk." Supergirl said.

"About?" Cat asked.

"Ever since Myriad I feel like I'm failing. I don't know what to do."

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You seem keen on working alone." Cat said, her tone cold and aloof.

"I was hoping you had some advice." Supergirl said wondering what had put Cat in a bad mood.

"Apparently you are beyond my advice." Cat said, the comment causing Supergirl to frown in confusion.

"I'm really not." Supergirl said.

"The thing is Supergirl, only so much advice can be given from the sidelines. Yes the advice will be objective, but right now you need help from your inner circle." Cat said confusing Kara even more. "Now, I have to get back to work." With that she turned and left, leaving Kara feeling lost and alone.

-00-

"Hey." Alex greeted over Skype.

"Hey, how's Geneva?"

"Not seen to much of it as I have been trapped inside for most of it. But the research is really good."

"That's great." Kara smiled.

"How are you?" Alex asked.

"Good."

"And the truth?" Alex probed.

"I'm fine."

"Still in a rut?"

"Maybe, a little. But I'm okay."

"You sure? I can come home."

"No, don't do that. I'm fine, really."

"Kara-" Alex started to argue.

"Seriously Alex, I'm okay. If I'm not I will let you know."

"Okay, but call anytime." Alex said.

"I will. I love you."

"Love you too. I'll call tomorrow." Alex said before the connection terminated. Closing her laptop Kara walked over to her easel and tried to work on her painting. After an hour of unproductiveness she took the canvas off the easel and threw it towards the bin. Sighing she reached for her phone and winced when she saw she had accidentally silenced it and had five missed calls. Recognising the number and thanking Rao it wasn't Ms Grant she quickly rang back.

-00-

"Nice of you to join us." J'onn said as Kara landed next to him ten minutes later.

"Sorry I mistakenly put my phone on silent." Kara said sheepishly.

"Perhaps in future you can concentrate a little more on being reachable." J'onn said. "I'm not sure most threats would stop their attacks on civilisation just because you failed to keep your phone on."

"Sorry." Kara repeated. "So what do we have?"

"We have a Tooley. Now safely captured by my Agents." J'onn said as Kara saw two Agents, faces bruised and bloodied leading an alien to the transport truck. When J'onn saw the guilt wash over Kara's face as she saw the injured Agents he softened his tone and said. "They'll be fine."

"I should have been here. I'm sorry."

"Kara." J'onn said. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine. Why?"

"You don't seem yourself."

"I'm okay." Kara said.

"Alex will be back soon and in the mean time I'm here if you want to talk."

"I know, but I'm okay."

"Okay then. Make sure you get some rest tonight."

"I will." Kara said flying off.

-00-

"Hey!" James smiled as he entered Kara's office the next day.

"Oh, hey." Kara said looking up.

"You okay? You are looking a bit down."

"I'm fine, just missing Alex." Kara replied.

"How about we take your mind off it and go out tonight?"

"Thanks, but I think I'd prefer to have a quiet night."

"I'll buy chicken wings." He offered.

"I'm kind of tired." Kara said.

"There'll be ice cream." James pressed. "And I'll have you home before midnight." Seeing Kara's expression he corrected. "By eleven."

"Okay." Kara agreed.

"Good. I'll just get my jacket." James smiled.

-00-

"So is it just Alex?" James asked as he watched Kara eat her chicken wings.

"Is what just Alex?" Kara questioned.

"The distraction, the lack of focus?"

"I'm not distracted."

"Kara, you are withdrawn, you have barely spoken to me in a week. If it isn't Alex being away is it me?"

"What? No." Kara said. "It really isn't you. It's just me."

"You know the it's not you, it's me is normally a bad sign." James said.

"I really didn't mean it like that. It is me. I just feel like I could do more. Sometimes it feels like I don't know who I am, what I am." Kara sighed.

"Clark gets like this too." James said reaching across and taking Kara's hand.

"Gets like what?" Kara asked eating some fries.

"Down. After a big world saving display. He said it was like having a huge adrenaline rush that depleted his body of everything."

"How does he get over it?" Kara asked.

"With time." James shrugged. "Perhaps you should call him."

"I'm okay." Kara said as her phone buzzed. Withdrawing her hand she read the text and sighed.

"I have to go."

"DEO?" James asked.

"No Cat." Kara said standing.

"Kara, you are not her assistant any more, you deserve a life. We deserve a life." He said concerned with how hard Kara seemed to be pushing herself.

"Working for Cat is part of my life." Kara shrugged.

"Don't go." James said reaching for Kara's hand. "Cat can survive without you."

"I have to. I'm sorry." Kara said leaving.

 _ **-TBC**_

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

"Did I not explain the importance of looking professional?" Cat asked as Kara entered her office the following day.

"Ms Grant?"

"You look like you stumbled through your grandmother's wardrobe and clothes randomly stuck to you. And let's not start on the hair. You look like a bag lady."

"I was here until after midnight." Kara pointed out, starting to feel angry.

"As was I." Cat said.

"Then I had to rework the layouts you didn't like."

"Which is in your job description."

"Which job?" Kara asked frustrated. "Seeing you can't keep an assistant for more than two hours I am doing my old job and my new job."

"I thought you could handle responsibility. Perhaps I was wrong."

"It is not responsibility I can't handle." Kara said her voice edgy.

"So what is it you can't handle?" Cat asked. "Pressure, independence, the truth?"

"The constant criticising. The personal attacks. I work so hard and just once it would be nice not to have it thrown back in my face all because you are in bad mood." Kara said, her voice getting louder and louder before abruptly stopping and covering her mouth.

"Balcony now." Cat said before Kara could even think about apologising.

Confused and concerned Kara went to the balcony and waited for Cat to emerge. When Cat was not immediately forthcoming Kara went to the edge and stared out over the city. As she looked out she felt herself begin to calm and shook her head for losing her temper over something so trivial.

-00-

"Are you capable of acting like a grown up and having an adult conversation?" Cat asked when she finally stepped out onto the balcony two hours later.

"I am so sorry Ms Gra-" Kara started to apologise only for Cat to interrupt.

"I'll take the annoying apologies as a yes. What have I said about anger?"

"There's no pill to get rid of it." Kara stated.

"True, but I meant the part where I said you can never get angry at work."

"I'm not angry." Kara said.

"If you believe that you have lost all self awareness." Cat said. "I have no idea what is happening to you, but you need to get your head back in the game." Cat warned.

"I don't know how." Kara confessed feeling defeated.

"You have friends, use them."

"My sister is away, James thinks I am not prioritising him and Winn just feels awkward round me ever since I started dating James."

"It is like you are modelling your life on Sweet Valley High." Cat said rolling her eyes.

"The only person who I could ever depend on for honest advice was you."

"Was?" Cat asked.

"Ever since you promoted me it feels like, it's feels like, you don't trust me any more."

"Trust works both way Kiera." Cat said, the use of the incorrect name being the final straw.

"I don't understand what you want from me." Kara said.

"Well then, you have a problem." Cat said. "Assuming you are not going to cause a scene or have some sort of breakdown you can go."

-00-

As Kara led her prisoner through the halls of the DEO late that night she was aware of several eyes on her. Although she wasn't a mind reader she could guess what they were thinking. They had all probably just witnessed her single handily take out a five story building when the alien threw her into the base, using a power she hadn't stuck around to hear about. Then they had probably seen her take out another building when she lost her temper with the alien and used him as a canon ball. Fortunately he was resilient as she was and no one was actually hurt. But her behaviour had earned her a dressing down from J'onn over the shared radio link. A dressing down most of the DEO probably heard. She could only imagine the distain and contempt the DEO Agents were feeling towards her. It was probably the same as what she had seen in the parents of the little boy she had tried to save earlier in the day. Avoiding eye contact with everyone she handed over the prisoner and turned to leave.

"Kara, med lab now." J'onn said.

"Why?"

"Ignoring the fact you just had a five story building collapse on you, there is clearly something wrong."

"There is nothing wrong." Kara said feeling her anger build again.

"Medlab. That is an order." J'onn said.

"Fine." Kara said raising her hands in defeat as she stomped off to the Medlab. "But there is nothing wrong. I'm just having a bad day."

"You can't afford to have bad days." J'onn said. "The people of this city have grown to depend on you. So have the teams at the DEO. But people, especially humans, always fear things that are different. Don't give them a reason to fear you."

"What can I do for you?" Hamilton asked as they entered the Medlab, stopping J'onn saying anything further.

"He's worried I have been exposed to Red-K or something." Kara said, an edge to her voice.

"Well let's get some scans and tests done." Hamilton replied. Seeing J'onn was still hovering she added. "You can wait outside." Reluctantly J'onn nodded and left the two women alone.

"So what's wrong?" Hamilton asked.

"I'm just having a bad day." Kara said. "I screwed up on the last mission."

"Seeing no one has come to see me I assume no one was hurt."

"No, everyone's fine. It was just my pride that took a hit as well as J'onn's confidence in me."

"Everyone is entitled to make mistakes. The important part is to learn from them." Hamilton said hooking Kara up to a machine.

"Except when I make mistakes people get hurt." Kara said.

"You just said everyone was fine."

"From the DEO mission they're fine."

"Something else happened?" Hamilton asked, concern in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter any more. I just want to get out of here."

"One more test and you can go." Hamilton said. "Unless you want to go for a drink tonight."

"Thanks, but no. I just want to get away."

"Okay. Wait here while I get the results." Hamilton said waving to J'onn that he could come in.

"You ready to talk?" J'onn asked.

"About?"

"Your behaviour." He said more softly. "You've not been yourself for awhile. I'm worried about you."

"And what is myself?" Kara asked. Before J'onn could answer Hamilton came back in and said.

"All results are normal."

"Happy?" Kara said walking off.

"Where are you going?" J'onn asked.

"Somewhere not here." She said marching off.

"What exactly happened?" Hamilton asked as Kara left.

"She lost focus and made a mistake." J'onn said. "Then she lost her temper and made another mistake."

"I meant earlier in the day."

"What do you mean?" J'onn asked as Vasquez entered.

"Sorry to interrupt but there is something you need to see."

"What is it?" J'onn asked taking the tablet from Vasquez. Having seen the contents he said.

"Vasquez, get Alex on the first plane back here."

-00-

"What's going on?" Alex asked as she entered the DEO.

"We should talk in private." J'onn said confusing Alex who followed him to his office.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Kara."

"Is she hurt?" Alex asked as worry set in.

"No, at least I don't think so. She's missing."

"What do you mean missing?"

"She left here yesterday upset and hasn't been seen since. She's not at home or work and she left her phone here."

"Why was she upset?" Alex asked. "What happened?"

"There was a fire. She tried to save a boy, but got to him too late. His parents were understandably distraught and they took it out on your sister, in a very public way. The only reason we know about it is because of the news reports."

"Kara didn't tell you?"

"No. She showed up to help take down another escaped Fort Rozz inmate and never mentioned it. Only she clearly wasn't herself. She screwed up and then lost her temper. I pulled her up on it, which only made matters worse. After Hamilton cleared her she walked out of here and no one has heard from her since."

"Sir, I may have found her." Vasquez said.

-00-

"Kara?" Alex asked as she forced her way through the jungle while she carefully approached the drenched figure of her sister who sat under a tree. One leg pulled up to her chest, which she rested her chin on.

"Alex?" Kara asked turning to face her. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

"You've found me." Kara said turning to rest her chin on her knee once more. "Why aren't you in Geneva?"

"Because I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You are sitting on a remote island in the middle of the Pacific in the middle of a jungle in the middle of a storm." Alex pointed out. "No part of that is fine."

"I'm fine." Kara repeated. "You shouldn't have come. I didn't ask you to. And I didn't ask anyone to tell you I was here."

"Being here is my choice." Alex said getting worried by the way Kara refused to look over to her. "So you going to talk about what's on your mind?" Alex asked sitting next to her sister.

"I was just so angry. I needed to vent so I came here."

"Why here?"

"No one around to get hurt." Kara said.

"What were you angry about?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. Everything." Kara said as Alex wrapped an arm round her. "I keep screwing up. No matter what I do I let people down. People are getting hurt because of me. I want to help, I really do, but no matter how hard I try it goes wrong."

As Kara talked Alex became aware that her hand which was wrapped round Kara was wet and warm. Peering round at it she realised it was red.

"Kara, you're bleeding." Alex exclaimed suddenly noticing the gash on Kara's arm.

"Yeah, blew out my powers." Kara shrugged. "Then fell down that hill."

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Alex asked grabbing hold of Kara's arms and forcing her to face her.

"I'm fine." Kara said as Alex noticed the swelling on her knee.

"Kara we have to get you back to the DEO."

"No. I don't want to go. I just want to be alone."

"Not happening." Alex said. "You are hurt. You need help."

"I'll be fine, I'm not going to the DEO." Kara said turning away from Alex.

"Kara." Alex started again.

"I said no." Kara said bolting up to her feet and scrambling away before her knee gave out and she collapsed to the ground.

Rushing over to her Alex pulled her into her arms and held her tightly. "Okay, no DEO." She said as she felt Kara cry against her chest. "It's going to be okay." She soothed.

 _ **-TBC**_

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

As Eliza entered her house she saw J'onn and Superman and immediately feared the worse.

"What happened?" She asked as she felt the panic rise.

"Kara needed some time off. So we brought her here." J'onn said. "She is upstairs sleeping."

"Why? I mean, why couldn't Kara make her own way here? Is she hurt?" Eliza asked, not reassured but J'onn's explanation.

"After Myriad Kara had a new confidence in her abilities, but so did the people of National City. She got into a rut expecting too much of herself and when she didn't meet those expectations kept pushing. It got too much for her and she ran away and blew out her powers." Clark said. "She'll be okay, she just needs some time. Alex is with her."

"Alex? But I thought she was in Geneva." Eliza said confused.

"She was. When Kara disappeared I asked Alex to come back." J'onn explained.

"Kara disappeared? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought she just needed to cool off." J'onn said. "If I had known how much Kara was suffering I would have called you."

Seeing Eliza was turning to go upstairs Clark added. "Eliza, the only person who could have stopped this was Kara. Alex was not to blame, but she needs to believe that. She's taking it really hard."

-00-

"Hey." Eliza whispered as she entered Kara's and Alex's room. "How is she?"

"Exhausted." Alex said watching her sister who lay sleeping. "Did J'onn and Clark fill you in?"

"Yes." Eliza said noticing the bandage on Kara's arm.

"She fell down a hill and hurt herself. None of the wounds were serious so she should be okay." Alex said almost mechanically.

"And you?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't hurt. I wasn't even there." Alex said, her guilt obvious.

"You are not to blame for what happened." Eliza said.

"Yes I am, I'm her big sister. I am meant to look after her. I am meant to stop her putting herself in danger and I didn't. I wasn't even there."

"Kara told you to go." Eliza said as she sat next to Alex on the bed.

"But I knew she was feeling down. I should have stayed."

"Alex, Kara is just as stubborn as you are. She wanted you to go." Eliza went on as she hooked an arm around Alex's shoulders. "You look exhausted, you should try and get some sleep."

"I don't want Kara to feel alone when she wakes up." Alex replied.

"You sleep, I'll sit over there and make sure she is okay. First sign of her coming round I'll wake you."

-00-

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked when Kara opened her eyes late the following morning.

"Alex?" Kara questioned confused. "Where are we?"

"Midvale." Alex said as she moved to Kara's side. "You were kind of adamant you did want to go the DEO so we brought you here."

"How? When? We?"

"Last night. Your cousin flew you here and J'onn flew me."

"My cousin? Kal-El saw me?" Kara asked looking mortified.

"Yeah. We had no other way to get you here, J'onn could only take one of us at a time back here and there was a big tropical storm about to hit the island. We were worried about you." Alex said as Kara pulled away from Alex and stood.

As pain shot through her knee Kara winced in pain and sat down mumbling. "It sucks being human."

"It's not that bad and it is only temporary." Alex then paused before asking whilst poking Kara's head. "So you ready to talk about what's going on in there?"

"I just needed to get away and blow off some steam."

"Everyone needs to blow of steam occasionally." Alex said pulling Kara into a hug. "Not all of us attempt to destroy a tropical island though." She waited a moment then asked. "Why were you angry?"

"There was a fire and I got there too late and a little boy died. The parents hated me. Not even Non looked at me like that. Then J'onn called because of an escaped alien and I screwed up the capture and when J'onn pulled me up on it I got angry and he thought that I was on Red-K or something and it just started to feel like everyone was expecting me to not have emotions and I got angry. I mean I could feel the anger build and I just had to get away so I flew off. I actually have no idea where I ended up. But no one else was there so I kind of let rip."

"Feel better now?"

"Less angry." Kara nodded.

"But?" Alex pressed.

"But still frustrated." Kara sighed.

"We are going to get you through this." Alex said hugging Kara once more.

-00-

"Sweetie! How are you?" Eliza said as she engulfed Kara in a hug when her foster daughter finally made it downstairs.

"Okay, I guess. Has Kal-El gone?" She asked not seeing her cousin.

"Yes. He and J'onn left last night, but Clark said he'll come over later." Seeing Kara's awkward expression Eliza added. "He's worried about you. He wants to help."

"I'm fine." Kara said.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Eliza offered, not wanting to push Kara.

"No. I need to go to get back. I'm already in Cat's bad books."

"You are not going anywhere. Not while you don't have powers." Eliza said.

"But I have to go to work." Kara protested.

"No, you have to get your powers back. You can phone in sick."

"But-"

"If you are desperate to do something there is plenty of housework to do."

"That would be a first without powers." Alex commented earning a glare from Kara.

"Last time I lost my powers I went to work." Kara pointed out.

"And you broke your arm." Alex pointed out before realising what she had confessed to in front of Eliza.

"She broke her arm?" Eliza asked. "Why didn't you tell me? And how could you let her go to work with no powers? You should have been with her. You are meant to look after her."

"By the time she told me she had broken her arm I was locked inside the DEO being chased by a homicidal alien." Alex explained.

"It wasn't Alex's fault." Kara said louder than either Eliza or Alex was expecting. "It was my choice to go into work then. What happened was my fault just like me losing my powers this time. It is also my choice to go to work."

"Today you don't get that choice." Eliza said with a tone normally reserved for Alex.

"Fine." Kara said limping to the door.

"Where are you going?" Eliza asked.

"To sit on the beach."

"I'm not sure that is a good idea." Eliza said. "You should stay inside where it is safe."

"The sun will do her good." Alex said. "I'll sit out with her."

"I don't need babysitting." Kara protested.

"Say that without limping and we'll talk." Alex said moments before Kara disappeared from the house.

As Kara sat on the sand Alex dropped down next to her.

"Please don't start." Kara pleaded.

"No talking, just hugging." Alex said pulling Kara into her arms. The two sat like that in silence for several minutes before Kara said.

"I'm sorry I ruined your trip."

"You didn't."

"You told me it was really good."

"I told you the research was really good." Alex corrected. "But I missed you. Remember when you told me I should tell mum I worked for the DEO and that my job is protecting you?"

"And you pointed out that protecting me wasn't your actual job." Kara replied.

"But then you reminded me I have way more fun when I am protecting you." Alex countered. "And I do. I wouldn't change anything about my life or my job. Which is why I need you to stop trying to make decisions for me based on what you think I want." Alex said. "If I want to change something about my life I will. But if I want to keep everything the same, that is my choice."

"I just want you to be happy and not be burdened by me."

"You are not a burden." Alex said hugging her tighter.

-00-

As Kara and Alex lay on the beach watching birds Alex became aware of someone approaching moments before a shadow fell over her and Kara. Looking up and seeing who it was she greeted.

"Hey Clark."

"Hi Alex." Clark smiled as Kara bolted upright and looked round. "You mind giving us some space?"

"Not a problem." Alex said standing and walking back to the house.

"How is she?" Eliza asked as she saw Alex.

"Okay, I guess." Alex said as she turned and looked out of the window at Kara and Clark who were already deep in conversation.

"And you?" Eliza asked. Seeing Alex's shoulders slump she approached her daughter and forced her to turn round to look at her. Seeing guilt and sorrow in her daughter's eyes she pulled her into a hug.

"None of this is your fault."

"It was because of me Kara came out as Supergirl. Everything that has happened since then is because of me. The worse part is I never really thanked her, I just lectured her."

"Kara chose to save that plane." Eliza said pulling away from Alex so she could look her in the eyes. "And I'm so glad she did." She then paused and added. "I know we always wanted Kara to keep her powers hidden so she would be safe, but sometimes I feel like we held her back. We stopped her being complete."

"Even using her powers she isn't complete." Alex reminded Eliza. "Even when she was fighting Astra she wasn't this broken. The worse part is I knew Kara was down and I left anyway. I don't know how to help her." Alex confessed.

"Yes you do." Eliza said, drawing a confused look from Alex. "Kara is feeling the weight of the world. She is trying to live up to impossible expectations whilst putting so much pressure on herself. If anyone can relate to that, it's you." She then paused and asked. "Is that all that's bothering you?"

"No. I still haven't found dad. I'm no closer than I was during Myriad." Alex said as Eliza drew her into another hug.

"Like you, your father was always a fighter." Eliza said. "If he is still alive I have no doubt that you will find him. But focus on one problem at a time."

"I still miss him." Alex said a stray tear ran down her face.

"I know. So do I." Eliza said holding her tighter.

-00-

"So, what are you going to do today?" Alex asked the following day as she joined Kara on the beach.

"Look for a new job?"

"Why?"

"I may have lost my temper with Ms Grant."

"What? When?" Alex asked concerned that Kara had had another outburst.

"A few days ago." Kara explained.

"What did she do?"

"Nothing really. It was me." Kara said sadly. When she didn't expand on the comment Alex asked.

"Any more details to go with that?"

"It's just that when I was her assistant she was always giving advice as well as criticism. But now, it's like I get the criticism without the advice and I had enough."

"So what did you do?"

"Nothing, to start with anyway. Then I started to snap and I think Ms Grant sensed it and sent me to her balcony."

"Why?"

"To cool off."

"For how long?"

"A few hours."

"Then what happened?"

"She came out, asked if I was capable of having an adult conversation. Then I somehow offended her and she talked about trust and her disappointment in me. And seeing how I have not been to work since I assume she thinks I have run away, which is a sackable offence."

"Except Winn hasn't texted to say you were fired." Alex pointed out.

"She probably wants to do it in person." Kara pointed out.

"She may surprise you." Alex said drawing Kara in for a hug. "So are you ready to talk yet?"

"Talk?"

"About what drove you over the edge?"

"It wasn't any one thing. I mean, that little boy dying was one of the last straws, but it wasn't just that. It was everything. There was so much expectation from everyone, it was like I was swimming against the tide. It made me feel so tired, so lost, so defeated. I don't know why I'm telling you this. You've had so much pressure on you your whole life."

"Have you been talking to mom?" Alex asked thinking back to her conversation with Eliza.

"No. Why?" Kara asked confused.

"Doesn't matter." Alex said.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Alex asked.

"Cope with everything."

"I didn't. I got drunk and partied and cut myself off and then got drunk some more. Definitely wouldn't recommend it."

"What turned it round?"

"I got arrested."

"You what?" Kara asked pulling away and looking at Alex. "Why didn't you tell me. Does Eliza know?"

"No she doesn't, so don't tell her. I didn't tell you as it was a low point and when I was finally sober was too ashamed to tell you. I was too scared to tell you because I couldn't face you losing faith in me."

"I will never lose faith in you." Kara said before asking. "So the arrest kicked you into action?"

"No. Hank came to visit me while I was in holding and offered me a job. He gave me purpose and direction."

"I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister." Kara said. "I should have been there."

"There was nothing you could do. It was down to me. I pushed you away." Alex said before asking. "Why are we even talking about this? We are meant to be worrying about you."

"You taught me the art of deflection." Kara said.

"Deflection won't solve the issue." Alex pointed out. "Trust me, I'm the expert."

"I don't know where to start." Kara sighed.

"Talking helps. As does not shutting people out."

"Okay, but can we eat first? I'm kinda hungry." Kara admitted earning a smile from Alex.

 _ **-TBC**_

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing. Final chapter up tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kara! You're back." James said hugging her. "You okay?"

"I'm getting there." Kara replied. "But my powers are back."

"Clark mentioned you hurt yourself." He said pulling away and carefully looking at her before leading her back into his apartment.

"Falling down hills isn't good without powers. But Alex patched me up and when my powers returned everything healed."

"So what happens now?" James asked.

"On Monday I'll go and see Cat and get fired. Then, I don't know. I could go full time at the DEO."

"Cat may surprise you." James said.

"I have no doubt that Cat could surprise me, but right now none of the surprises I'm thinking of seem good." Kara said trying to smile.

"She was actually concerned about you." James said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Asked where you were and what I had done."

"You?"

"Apparently rather than being supportive I was needy. Which was never my intention. I was worried about how hard you were pushing yourself. You never seemed to take time off from either job. I just wanted you to have time for yourself."

"I'm sorry I pushed you away." Kara said. "I just thought it was something I could fix myself." The comment earning a wry smile from James causing Kara to ask. "What?"

"I was just remembering how you told me that you were taught that to accept help is not a shame it is an honour."

"I was taught that. I guess I forgot it." Kara confessed.

"Your cousin told me that at times he viewed the symbol on his chest as a curse. A reminder of all he would never know and a symbol of expectation he could never meet. But you, you have an advantage. You know what that symbol means. Sure, there will be times when you see sadness and expectation when you look at it. But every time you look at it you should never forget that you are stronger together, we are stronger together."

-00-

"Kara?" J'onn asked, surprised to see her. "How are you?"

"Good. My powers are back."

"And the underlying issues?"

"Resolved. Alex and I talked."

"Whilst I always appreciate your optimism, we both know it is not that simple. You put so much pressure on yourself it isn't surprising you cracked. I should have been there for you, rather than making the situation worse." He paused then stood and walked round his desk to stand in front of Kara. "I criticise because I want you to be better, be safe. With your sister the best way to get her to listen is drum the message in hard and loud. I tried the same with you, but I was wrong. We need a different method with you. Until we have figured that out I need you to tell me when things get too much. Admitting you're feeling overwhelmed is not a sign of weakness."

"I know and I will. Well at least I'll try." Kara smiled.

"Good."

"So any escaped prisoners to hunt down?" Kara asked, keen to get to work.

"Not so fast. You have another task to complete first." J'onn said.

"Really? What?" Kara questioned.

"Counselling." J'onn said.

"Sorry what?" Kara asked, convinced she had misheard.

"Counselling." J'onn repeated.

"I don't need -"

"Kara it is mandatory for every agent here. I should have enforced it with you earlier." Seeing Kara was going to continue her protest he added. "Even Alex has to attend sessions."

"She does?" Kara asked surprised she never knew.

"She does. As I said it is mandatory for everyone."

-00-

"How did it go?" Alex asked as Kara flew into her apartment and sat heavily on the couch.

"Apparently I have abandonment issues." Kara said.

"Is that it?" Alex asked.

"What do you mean, is that it?" Kara asked, offended by the question.

"I had you pegged for abandonment, anger management, hero complex and eating disorder."

"Wait, what?" Kara asked confused.

"We run a league at the DEO over diagnoses. Apparently I have abandonment issues, low self esteem and a fear of intimacy." Alex listed as she drunk from her beer bottle.

"Congratulations." Kara said.

"There's an unofficial point system. That list puts me in joint third."

"If none of you take this seriously why did J'onn insist I go?"

"Firstly, he doesn't know about the league, but more importantly, whilst most of what they say may be completely unhelpful and pointless, every so often there is a nugget that helps."

"So they can be right sometimes?" Kara asked.

"It's not unheard of. Why what did they say?"

"They had an interesting take on my Cat problem."

"Which was?"

"That Cat knows who I am and is hurt I haven't told her."

"Do you think she knows?" Alex asked sitting up straight and looking at Kara.

"I didn't, but now I have thought about it, maybe. I mean she was there during Myriad, she saw Eliza and you with me and it must have been obvious there was a connection. We convinced her I wasn't Supergirl by using J'onn, but since then she has found out about J'onn and the fact he is a shapeshifter, not to mention the whole Bizarro thing. Plus my promotion came after I saved the world. Plus she is the queen of media who made her name as an investigative journalist."

"So what are you going to do?" Alex asked.

"I don't know, it is not like I can ask."

"Do you want her know?" Alex questioned.

"Yes."

"Kara-"

"I know, I know, it is a big risk and the only reason I haven't is because it might endanger you and Eliza."

"But?"

"I hate lying to her. I know we have had big problems in the last year, but she has helped me so much. Also I really believe she would keep it secret."

"That's because you see the best in everyone." Alex pointed out.

"Even Max kept my identity quiet."

"Yeah, about that. It may have involved blackmail rather than a change of heart." Alex confessed. "But at the end of the day this is your decision."

"It is?"

"Of course it is. It's your life." Alex said. "If you think it would help you if Cat knew and if you trust her that much then you should tell her."

-00-

"Ms Grant." Kara said walking onto the balcony at CatCo.

"Kiera." Cat said looking up from her papers. "I thought you had left my employment. I mean that is normally what going AWOL means."

"Can we talk?"

"We are."

"I mean really talk." Kara said causing Cat to sigh and put her tablet down.

"I suppose so." Cat said signalling for Kara to sit opposite her.

"You said that your worse decisions were based on fear and that I had shown you another way, to have faith in people. But I am as guilty as you. I was so afraid of what could happen I forgot to have faith. So I hid the truth from you to protect my family, my friends and you." Kara said removing her glasses. "Ever since I came here I have been afraid of losing another family, another planet. Because of that I hid who I was, what I was, so those around me would be safe. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I never wanted to betray you." She added nervously looking up.

"And yet you did, whilst treating me like the village idiot."

"That was never my intention." Kara replied. "Ms Grant, you have done so much for me. Without your guidance I would not be the person I am today. I would not have had the strength to fight Non and Myriad. I owe you so much, but more than that I need you. I can't be Supergirl without your help. Just look at how I screwed up over the last couple of weeks." Kara paused before adding. "When you first thought I was Supergirl you were going to fire me. I thought if I told you you would fire me and I can't do this without Catco. I need my job, I need to work for you."

"So why tell me now?" Cat asked.

"Because I hate lying. Plus I think you already knew."

"I did."

"You never said."

"Of course not. You seemed very determined to hide it from me."

"I really am sorry." Kara said replacing her glasses and standing.

"Where are you going?" Cat asked surprised by Kara's actions.

"I assumed I was fired."

"Not so fast. Where have you been?"

"I blew out my powers. My cousin took me to my foster mother's."

"How did you lose them?" Cat said unaware of any large fights that had occurred.

"I was feeling so angry...I flew to somewhere remote and kind of let rip, which drained my cells."

"When I said you needed to channel your anger that wasn't what I meant." Cat said. "But at least you had the common sense to do it away from prying eyes. Why were you angry?"

"It started as frustration." Kara said. "I was on such a high after Myriad, then, I don't know, it just felt I wasn't achieving anything. That I could do more, but didn't know how. Then I felt this crushing expectation from everyone. James wanted to spend more time with me, J'onn seemed to expect more, the people of the city seemed to start believing I could save everyone. It felt like I was being held accountable every time someone got hurt. I started feeling more and more isolated. Alex was away and I know she would have come back, I mean she did come back, but I didn't want that. She has given up so much of her life for me, I just want her to live her own life and be happy without worrying about me."

"Kara, you are going through the same thing that anyone who tastes success goes through. When you came out as Supergirl this City did not know how to react, but yet overtime you earned their trust. You are right the people do expect more because you have proven yourself, all you have to do is build yourself up again to the next level. Life is a giant set of escalators and steps. You join Elementary School at the bottom and work your way up to the top. But when you go Junior High, once again you are at the bottom and you have to work your way up. Then you have High School and College, again starting at the bottom and working your way up to the top. Then you are in the real world and it is so much harder. You are no longer in a system that carries you to the top, now you have to put in the effort yourself. You start a job at the bottom and have to climb to the top. Once there, there is another set of steps waiting to take you up to the next life point. It doesn't matter if it becoming CEO, winning a journalism award or saving the world. Afterwards you find yourself at the bottom of the next challenge. The trick is to jump straight on that set of steps and work your way up to the next level."

"What if you can't see the next set of steps?"

"Then you are blind. No one is perfect."

"I know that. But I don't know how to become what the people want because I don't understand what they want."

"And that is where you are going wrong. You need to think about what you want and set yourself goals. Fortunately for you I am a master at it."

"Does that mean I'm not fired?" Kara asked hopefully.

"That means I'm giving you another chance."

"Thank you, so much-"

"Yes, yes, yes. I know you're grateful. Don't look so needy." Cat said waving off Kara's thanks. "Right now, we have work to do. You have an image problem."

 **-The End**

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 **A/N:** Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I appreciate all the comments. For those I couldn't thank through messenger thank you for taking the time to review. In particular thanks to Anna and Supergirl for the supportive comments.


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